The Other Mother Art Exhibition Interview with Karen Piovaty

The Other Mother Art Exhibition Interview with the Artist: Karen Piovaty
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What circumstances led you to creating your exhibit? "Circumstances beyond my control, I assure you. It was a culmination of years of insanity. The list within my piece "Forsake the Children" is a pretty accurate summation of nearly a decade of my life. Most of my friends are single or married to their original spouse, so I didn't think anyone else could relate to my situation. When I saw the movie "Stepmom" and read stories by other stepmothers on the internet, I knew I could create an exhibition that illustrated our shared experiences." What do you hope your exhibit will achieve? "I hope my show tells other stepmothers that I know the EXACT hell they live with day-in and day-out: suiting up and showing up, with a smile on your face, just waiting for the next SCUD missile to land in your living room. I want them to know they are not alone. I want them to know that staring at their bedroom ceiling night after night wondering if they should stay in their marriage or get the hell out is justified and that they aren't nuts or weak. I also want to shed some light on a particularly taboo segment of the stepfamily population. Our culture is quick to acknowledge and condemn deadbeat dads, but there are many birth mothers who wreak havoc with relative impunity... at home and in the courts." How does your art help connect people to stepfamily issues? "It's hard for many people to relate to what some stepfamilies go through... or to even fathom it, quite frankly. I think this exhibition opens people's eyes to the damage inflicted on everyone involved in an ugly stepfamily situation." Do you feel better now that you've expressed yourself? "I finally have my voice and my power back--after a decade of keeping a lid on it and being an unwilling participant in this manufactured charade. I can also see where my experience and art can help others. That feels great."	Topic ONE hereŠ1999 Karen Piovaty Š1999 Karen Piovaty Š1999 Karen Piovaty	Karen's Personal Survival Tips: 1. File a separate tax return and keep your bank accounts separate. 2. Make sure your spouse has formally called/written credit card companies and closed all joint credit cards "by request". 3. Get your stepchildren their own phone line. You'll be surprised how the ex's incessant phone calls drop off when there's no chance of chewing out you or your spouse. 4. Try and get everything in writing. If your mode of communication is faxing, photocopy all faxes because they fade quickly. 5. The courts love facts and documentation, so have them. Keep an "SYA" (save your ass) file tucked away somewhere. Drop all your photocopies, receipts for expenditures for the kids, and dated nutso incidents in the file. 6. Have your children's schools send grades and communications to both birth parents. Particularly note how many absences your child has from school. Schools and their explicit documentation are your allies. 7. Join a stepparent internet site and rant online. You will absolutely make yourself sick--or get divorced--trying to do this alone. 8. Go to couple's counselling with a therapist who specializes in stepfamilies. 9. Present a united front with your spouse and don't let the kids "play" the two households against each other. 10. Get away with your spouse so you can try to remember why you got married in the first place.