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You can love a Stepparent
- one stepchild's perspective

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 by: Katrine

I am an adult stepchild who has a wonderful relationship with my stepfather. I want to share my story to help others see hope in theirs.

I did not always have such a great relationship with my stepdad. There were many times that I did not like him much. Most of these feelings took place
when I was between the ages of 10 & 17. I was confused, as all children of divorce are.  I felt loyalty towards my biological father and didn't feel right loving another man as a father.  I was torn between the man who gave me life and the one who would show me how to live it.

Through the years it was my stepdad who was there. He coached ball teams, and cheered from the sidelines. When my children were born, he held them,fed them and burped them, even though he claimed kids scared him !

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When my world fell apart and I became a single parent, my mom and stepdad helped me pick up the pieces. When I annonced I was getting married, he had a million questions and wanted to help, my biological dad barley batted an eye.
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Last year my mom and my stepdad separated, but he and I remain as close as a father and daughter can get.  I recently had the opportunity to plan his surprise 65th birthday party. We made picture boards and wrote wonderful memories to go with them. The look on his face was unforgettable.
To all stepparents: remember stepchildren can be hurt, angry and confused. You can't replace their missing parent, and shouldn't try. Just be there for them as much as you can and don't expect miracles. Love takes time.

To all stepchildren: remember you don't have to choose to either love your biological parent or your stepparent.  You can love many different people in your life. You might keep in mind that your stepparent chose to be a part of your life, they didn't have to. So give them a break and try being nice to them. Who knows, you might end up having as good a relationship with your stepparent as much as I have!