By Karla Scroggin Grimwood

My stepdaughter was 9 months old and my stepson was only 3 ½ years when my husband first introduced me to them. Our plan was to provide the most normal family experiences we could for them. This was important to me, as I had always wanted children, and my twin sons had died at birth during my first marriage. Since my stepchildren’s birth mother had drug and alcohol addiction problems, I felt they needed me as much as I needed them.

After 3 more years of court battles, our stepparent-stepchild relationship evolved even more when their birth mother abandoned them, and we finally gained custody. We were now a family with a shared future. Therefore, I decided to start working on a shared past. I wanted them to know my family and the things I enjoyed while growing up in Florida. I felt this was a way for them to understand my upbringing and for all of us to become a more cohesive family.

My husband and I planned a trip to Florida to include my parents, my dad’s airboat, the beach, and Disneyworld. My parents were very excited to have an in-person visit with the kids. They had talked with them on the phone and sent cards and presents, but there is no substitute for spending time together. In the weeks preceding our visit, I shared stories with the kids about their grandparents and some of my childhood memories. I found later that these provided great conversation starters. My mom also made plans with them, by phone, to bake a cake together.

We arranged for a limo to take us to the airport to celebrate the kids’ first airplane ride. The airline crew also made it very special for them. They were probably some of the last kids allowed to visit with the pilot in the cockpit before the 9/11 tragedies.

Dad took them for a ride on the airboat soon after we arrived. I have always loved airboating and it is a special activity that I share with my dad. I wanted my children to enjoy it too, but knew that they were individuals and would have to decide for themselves. Fortunately, they both loved it! This gave all of us a special shared experience.

Parts of my childhood memories also include spending time at the beach. Our kids had never seen the Atlantic Ocean or spent time on a warm, sandy beach. The only experiences they had were from cool, rocky beaches on Washington’s Pacific Ocean. It was so much fun to see their delighted faces as they built sandcastles and jumped waves!

Finally, we went on a grand trip to Disney World! It was wonderful to share their excitement and for us to relive our childhood memories with them. I could just imagine how my parents must have felt with my brother and me so many years ago.

The entire trip was very successful and accomplished what I had hoped. The children now understand more about who I am and have created a stronger bond with my parents. This established a more complete foundation for our stepparent-stepchild relationship to grow further. We will continue to visit my family in Florida at least once a year to create more memories and a shared history together.