Each year as the holiday season approaches, we begin thinking of what we can do to better ourselves in the New Year. Often, these resolutions include dieting, spending less money, exercising more. This year, I’d like to encourage all of you within stepfamilies, to make your stepfamily relationship your number one resolution.  Perhaps these few suggestions can put you on your way.

Resolve to hold at least one "family meeting" per
      month. This will give all  family members the
      opportunity to talk and express their feelings.

Resolve to be more tolerant of your former spouse.
      Supporting the children’s "other parent" can show a
      sense of unity to the children and also shows them a
      larger sense of value within the family.

Non-custodial parents, resolve to become more
      active in your children’s activities.

Resolve to listen more than you talk.

Resolve to be consistent with discipline, love and
      support.

Resolve to listen to your spouse, validate their
      feelings and support them in their role within your
      stepfamily.

Resolve to remember the grandparents within the
      family (stepgrandparents included). Often, the
      grandparents are the most forgotten within the family.

Resolve to read one book or publication related to
      becoming a stronger stepfamily.

Resolve to seek help from outside sources when it’s
      needed.

Resolve to nurture the "couple relationship" in your
      marriage.  It is important to show children that good
      relationships between men and women do exist.

A final resolution.  Resolve to make the children most important during holidays, birthdays and special occasions. Put "adult" issues aside during this time and make the events as least stressful as possible for the children.  If your child’s biological parent is deceased, resolve to share memories with your child. As the spouse of a widow/widower, allow your stepchildren to remember their deceased parent, without fear of guilt.

Throughout 2002, remember that your family is special and you have been given a wonderful gift. Treat your stepfamily as such, and your gift will grow stronger.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!
- The Stepfamily Network

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