ADVICE  FOR  STEPPARENTS
WHEN  SPOUSE  IS  BEING  DEPLOYED

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                                                                  © 2003- 2006 Stepfamily Network

Issues to discuss:
• How will the stepparent be 
  able to facilitate contact 
  between the child and the 
  deployed parent?

• If the stepparent is married 
  to a noncustodial parent, 
  will the stepparent be 
  allowed to have regular 
  access to the child?

• If the stepparent is married 
  to a custodial parent, what 
  will happen if the 
  noncustodial parent wants 
  custody during the  
  deployed parent's 
  absence?

• Will the deployment affect 
  child support payments?

• Will the stepparent need 
  to move the child to a
  different location,  enroll the
  child in school, negotiate
  with the school about the 
  stepchild's special needs, 
  enroll the child in benefit 
  programs, consent to 
  medical care, enroll the 
  child  in daycare, summer 
  camps, sports activities or 
  other special programs, or 
  insure the child's 
  participation in religious 
  training or programs?

• If the stepparent will need 
  to travel abroad with the 
  child, is the child's 
  passport in order and are 
  there any special 
  permissions that will be 
  needed?

• Are there any pending
  legal actions involving the
  child?

• Are there financial 
  arrangements that need to 
  be made with regard to the 
  child, involving matters 
  such as tuition payments, 
  health insurance 
  payments, support, or 
  property?


Deployment of a spouse often means that the spouse who stays home has to assume a number of new tasks and responsibilities. For stepfamilies, this can be even more challenging because of the ambiguous legal relationship between stepparents and stepchildren.  Generally, for example, stepparents have no legal authority to make decisions or even to get information about their stepchildren's medical care or education.

Planning and anticipating problems can make the transition easier.  A volunteer lawyers group has prepared a Family Member Pre-Deployment Checklist which is available on the web at http://www.abanet.org/family/checklist.doc.  This checklist is designed for all families and includes record-keeping questions related to medical care, finances and so forth.

Deployed spouses may also want to take advantage of legal services offered by the military for assistance in updating their wills and preparing documents to grant a power of attorney.  The will helps ensure that property you own will pass in accordance with your wishes and can include specific directions about how your property should be used to support children or stepchildren.  A will can also indicate a preference for a guardian for children, so that your wishes about the custody of the child will be clear, although they will not be binding on the court.  Keep in mind that bequests to "children" may not include stepchildren, so stepchildren should be explicitly included if desired. A power of attorney typically gives someone else, such as a spouse, the authority to manage your property, and can give them the authority to use your money to help support stepchildren.  

Providing a stepparent spouse information and giving them control over property management may be easier than giving the stepparent authority over stepchildren. An initial question that the stepfamily would want to consider is:  how much authority does the parent have in relation to the other biological parent and how much does the stepparent need?  A stepparent who is married to a sole parent (the other parent is deceased or parental rights have been terminated) might need extensive authority. To give a stepparent extensive authority over a stepchild, a court-approved guardianship, custody order, or adoption might be appropriate.  A stepparent who would be seeing the stepchild only occasionally would need less authority, which usually would not require any court action.   To give a stepparent the ability to access school records and to discuss the child's progress with teachers, for example, it might be sufficient if the parent signed a consent form provided by the child's school. Sample medical, education, and travel forms are available from SAA at (800) 735-0329.

Laws regulating families and stepfamilies vary from state to state.  In addition, some issues, such as consent to medical care or access to school records, may be determined by local policy rather than state law.  Stepfamilies' rights and responsibilities vary as well, depending on existing court orders, where the stepchildren primarily live, who provides support, levels of interaction and relations with the other parent.   Because each situation is unique, stepfamilies should plan to get legal advice in their state if they anticipate problems related to the deployment.  General information about legal topics, such as guardianship, adoption, and powers of attorney is available at www.nolo.com .


Prepared by members of the Stepfamily Association of America's
(www.saafamilies.org)
Law and Social Policy Department
Sarah H. Ramsey, JD, Director; Margaret Mahoney, JD; Mary Ann Mason, PhD, JD